


Sex Talk with Doctor Steve

by MoMoMomma



Series: The Joys of Step-Parenting [3]
Category: Captain America, Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mentions of Past Torture, Parent Steve, Rape/Non-con References, Sex Talk, Steve and Tony Bonding, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoMoMomma/pseuds/MoMoMomma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony needs some advice, learns far too much about his dad and Steve's relationship, offends numerous coffeeshop patrons, and learns just why his dad loves Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Talk with Doctor Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the ridiculous Steve & Tony bonding fluff :D

“You’re sure this isn’t weird for you?”

Steve blinked at him from across the table, putting his coffee cup back down and leaning back in his seat, crossing his legs neatly. Tony fidgeted under the gaze, pushing his own cup around on the table and chewing on his lower lip.

“I think sex is sex, and if I can help someone have _better_ sex then I’m all for it. I’m not looking to astound you with tales of what your Dad and I get up to in the bedroom, but I’m also not going to pretend like you and Bucky aren’t just as busy as we are.”

Tony groaned at the frank words, banging his forehead down on the table and ignoring the looks form the people around them. Screw them and their posh outdoor coffee shop. If one more person looked at him, dressed in shorts and a polo, and Steve, in dress pants and a tight black tee under an open vest, like they vagabonds discussing how to best murder the President, he was going to snap and flip this table over.

“Tony,” Steve said gently, bringing his head up from where he’d been trying to fuse it with the fancy tablecloth. “I might be your step-father, but I’m not Howard. I’m not going to shove my head into the sand and pretend that you guys aren’t having sex. But I am someone who cares about you, so I want to make sure that you’re enjoying it every step of the way and if that means sitting down with you and discussing it, well…that’s a far better option than taking you to a sex shop, right?”

Tony nodded, taking another sip of his coffee and looking at Steve across the table, while the blonde looked over the small menu with interest. Man, if anyone had told him three years ago that he’d be sitting across from his 29 year old step-dad, drinking coffee and discussing his sex life, he’d have probably knocked them out with the nearest circuit board.

But here he was.

Tony took the moment of down-time as Steve sat there silently, brows furrowed as he read over what the shop offered, to reflect on the man across from him. Steve was unlike any step-parent he’d ever known, always willing to take time out of his schedule to talk to Tony, or jog with him, or even just sit and watch shitty movies together when Tony’s memories threatened to choke him. He put up with Tony sprawling across his work space while he sketched or painted, even a couple of times on _really_ bad days setting up a giant canvas and throwing paint at it with him. The first time they’d done that, the picture had actually turned out pretty good, which was why Tony had been disappointed to come into the sunroom one day and find it gone.

Until he’d visited Stark Industries the next day and saw it hanging in the lobby above the reception desk, presented proudly for all to see with Tony’s name scrawled in the corner above Steve’s own.

“Do you think they have good tiramisu?”

Steve question made him blink, coming out of the memories as the man looked at him expectantly. The absurdity of the situation suddenly became clear and Tony burst out laughing, shaking his head.

“You’re insane, you know that?”

“Hmmm? Why’s that?”

“We just, like, we’re sitting here, about to discuss my sex life, and you’re wondering about the dessert. Like it’s something normal!” Tony waved a hand around wildly, frowning at Steve’s huff of laughter as the man sat the menu back down.

“Tony, sex is completely normal. It’s a natural—“

“Yeah, yeah, natural process, birds, bees, and whatnot. But still!” Tony interrupted, Steve shaking his head at Tony’s tone, picking up his coffee once more.

“It’s not really something that bothers me. Maybe before I met your dad, sure. But Howard taught me sex isn’t something to be ashamed of. You like what you like, want what you want, and if you find the person who’s willing to experience it with you, you’ve gotten lucky.”

Tony picked at the cloth moodily as Steve caught a waiter’s attention and ordered a slice of the dessert and re-fills for them both. Once the man had wandered off, Tony shot the older man a glare, which Steve blatantly ignored, sipping from his cup delicately.

“But what if they person you’re with doesn’t like what you like?”

“As far as sexually? No two people are so sexually compatible that their kinks line up in neat little rows. There are bound to be things one person likes that another doesn’t, it’s part of human beings differences.”

“So…then….is there something like that with you and Dad?”

Steve put his cup down, brow creasing in thought as he propped his chin in his hands and watched the leaves above, obviously in thought. Tony wasn’t particularly psyched to hear about his Dad’s kinks, but he had to make sure that Steve at least knew where he was coming from before he spilled all his relationship problems out on top of the fancy tablecloth.

“Yes, there is actually. Are you comfortable with me explaining, or no?”

Tony nodded, draining the last dregs of his coffee just as the waiter re-appeared with more, placing it and Steve’s dessert on the table and taking their empty dishes before slipping away. Steve neatly took a small bite of his food, moaning low as he swallowed before sipping from his coffee, pushing the plate a bit more forward in invitation. Tony took it for what it was and speared himself a bite, his eyes closing in bliss as the rich, tangy taste exploded over his tongue. It took him a moment, lost in the joy that came with extremely good food, to realize that Steve was using his fork to point at the tiramisu.

“Food.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Food. I’m an artist, so painting on my lover’s body in, say, chocolate syrup or melted caramel is actually really attractive to me from a sexual and non-sexual standpoint. Your Dad firmly believes food is for nourishment, not pleasure, so that’s just not something we do together.”

“So, what?” Tony leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, irritated that his pops would deprive Steve of such a simple pleasure just because he wasn’t comfortable with it. “You just have to sit there un-fulfilled because he’s got a hang-up?”

“No, Tony, not at all. It’s not unfulfilled, per se, we just found a way around it. That’s what you have to do in a relationship, find ways to still make both partners happy that doesn’t make one of them uncomfortable.”

“But what if there’s no way around making that person uncomfortable and still getting what you want?”

Steve put his fork down on the edge of his plate and pressed his palms together, touching the sides of his fingers to his lips. He regarded Tony with shrewd eyes before tilting his hands down towards him.

“I think maybe I’m going to have to ask you to be completely blunt here.”

Tony inhaled and scrubbed a hand through his hair, stealing another bite of the sweet, chewing for longer than he needed to save some time. He’d hoped, somewhat stupidly he admitted, to avoid telling Steve exactly what the issue was, scared how the older man would react. When it came to anything having to do with the rape, Steve became worse than Bucky or Howard combined at being Papa Bear and while it was amazing to cuddle up to that on bad days, it also meant Tony would have to work harder at convincing him it wouldn’t bother him. He braced himself and met Steve’s patient blue gaze, speaking clearly.

“I want to blow Bucky.”

Steve, to his credit, did not react in the way Tony expected. Namely, to shove over the table and wrap him up in his arms, cooing to him and stroking his hair like a scared puppy. No, in fact, Steve didn’t react at all, save for leaning back in his chair and widening his hands, pressing the tips of splayed fingers together. Tony squirmed under the silence that fell, sipping from his coffee and wishing he smoked like Bucky, even if only to have something to do with his hands. Finally Steve brought his gaze up, the expression on his face blank.

“You understand why Bucky’s reluctant, right?”

“I do, hence the no way around it.”

“Now that’s not necessarily true, there’s always a way around it.”

Tony arched his brows in question, holding his hands open and throwing himself backwards into his chair.

“Like what?”

“Well,” Steve leaned forward, shifting his shoulders as he did and bracing himself on the table on his forearms. “Take your Dad and me for example. He turned down the food, so we compromised. He actually lets me draw on him, non-toxic paints and oil crayons and whatnot. It satisfies my need, but still keeps him within his comfort zone. We just have to find a middle ground for you and Buck.”

“I don’t really think there’s any way to get around a blowjob. Save for….like, blowing on his dick.”

Steve threw his head back and laughed at this, drawing the attention of the other patrons, though no one had a nasty look on their faces this time. It was impossible. Steve’s laugh was like puppies and sunshine and rainbows in audible tones, and the man himself was handsome enough with a blank expression. Head tilted back, grinning with his entire face, his whole body radiating happiness and amusement?

Hell, Howard had really good taste in _everything_ apparently.

Tony propped his chin on his fist and waited impatiently for Steve to calm back down, arching a brow at the way the man pressed a hand to his stomach.

“It wasn’t that funny.”

“Not the—the words, T-Tony. The men-mental image of B-Bu-Bucky’s _face_.” Steve howled, losing it yet again. Tony huffed and picked up the entire plate of tiramisu, shoveling it into his mouth in retribution for the man’s raucous laughter. Once he’d settled, he shook his head, still grinning and looked across the table at him.

“I don’t really think that’ll accomplish much.”

“What other options do I have?!”

“Hmm, well, it’s possible to get someone off orally and not actually wrap your mouth around them.”

“Yeah, sixteen year old virgins! I really don’t think I’m gonna be able to kitty lick a thirty year old soldier to orgasm, Steve!”

The man twisted his face, pointing a finger in his direction.

“Hey! We’re not thirty yet! And besides, that’s not the only option.”

“I’m waiting.”

Steve rolled his eyes and reached over to tug the plate from Tony’s hands, looking dejectedly at the small piece that remained. Tony felt bad immediately and waved to a nearby waiter, indicating the plate. The man nodded and walked off as Tony turned back, looking over to see Steve neatly licking a smear of tan mousse from his thumb, the empty plate in front of him. He washed the bite down with a drink from his cup, licking his lips as he set it back down.

“Maybe I could tie him down?” Tony suggested, taking a sip from his own. “If it’s an issue of him thinking he’s taking advantage, that—“

“No!” Steve shook his head and held up both hands in a ‘Stop!’ motion. “Tony, solider. Prisoner of war, remember?”

Ice formed in the pit of Tony’s stomach at his ignorance and he groaned, dropping his head to the table with a bang.

“See?! I can’t find a middle ground because I’m so fucking stupid! I can calculate how to achieve cold fusion but can’t figure out that the _torture victim_ might not like to be restrained!”

“You’re not stupid, Tony. It’s a logical thought process, we’re just dealing with an unusual situation. Ah! Here we go!” A happy trill punctuated Steve’s last words and Tony lifted his head from the table to see the man looking at his phone.

“What?”

“Hold something in your hands, like a scarf or Bucky’s tags even, and promise him if it gets too much you’ll drop it. That way, you don’t need to say a word, and it’s not something you’ll do accidentally if you get really into it. Like a physical safeword, you know?”

Tony felt his face twist at the words, blinking at the man and seeing him in a completely different light as he typed back gleefully on the phone.

“That—Did—You know what a safeword is?!”

Steve looked up at him with an arched brow, the expression on his face akin to that of a parent who’d just been sassed, bemused disbelief mixed with pity for what was to come.

“Your father has been around for fifty years, Tony. He’s learned quite a bit.”

Tony let out a garbled jumble of syllables, slamming his head back down on the table. Steve laughed above his head and Tony shot him the finger, bringing his head up to glare at the amused man.

“And here I was worried about _you_ feeling awkward. So, you really think it’ll work? How’d you even come up with that?”

“I do, I think it’ll work out really well for you guys to both be comfortable. Just be careful to make sure you don’t choke or gag, I think that would make Buck stop immediately.”

Tony nodded, stacking his arms and staring at the man suspiciously, noticing how Steve had neatly ignored the question of the ideas origins.

“Yeah. Agreed. So, how did you come up with the idea?”

Steve was suddenly incredibly interested in the new plate of tiramisu the waiter placed in front of him, shoving a huge bite into his mouth and chewing like it was his only job. Tony ground his teeth, glaring at the man. He noticed Steve was so intent on ignoring his looks that he had left his phone lying unprotected on the table. Tony snatched it up, turning his back to Steve who choked and reached across to bat ineffectively at his shoulders. He slid the screen open, using one hand to fend off Steve, and blanched at the text conversation that popped up.

_Howie: Are you seriously asking me advice that will lead to my SON giving Barnes a blowjob?_

_Me: Yessss…Please, Howie? I’ll make it up to you ;)_

_Howie: Fuck. Darling boy, you owe me so very, very much for this._

_Me: Anything you want._

_Howie: Dangerous promise. I’m gonna ruin you tonight. Tell the kid to have a physical safeword, so Barnes can see if he has an issue._

_Me: You’re a genius, Howie! And don’t talk dirty to me, it gives me naughty ideas ;)_

He turned and thrust the phone into Steve’s batting hand, looking with wide eyes at the man’s red face. Steve opened his mouth to talk and Tony held up a hand to stop him.

“No! No, pops. I now know more about you two than I’ve ever wanted to. Give me that tiramisu, I need to bury my emotional damage in coffee flavored diabetes.”

Steve handed over his plate with a nod, slipping the phone back into his pocket, ignoring its message alert. Tony started shoveling the food into his mouth, finally looking up at the man once most of it was gone. Steve was grinning at him over the rim of his cup, lips curling up just outside the porcelain.

“What?”

“You called me pops.”

Tony felt his ears heat at the reminder and took a drink of his coffee, squaring his shoulders, deliberately keeping his voice light.

“Yeah, well, you’re my step-pops, and that’s really too long to say. So…yeah.”

The moment stretched between them until Steve broke it by coughing and setting the cup back down on the table.

“So, do you have a plan in mind?”

“Yeah, maybe. But I don’t really have anything other than his tags, and I like to keep those on while we’re together.”

“Oh! Not a problem! Howard and I go to the cutest little shop, discreet and the owner is a delightful woman, it has everything you would possibly need—“

“Steve! Damnit, you said no sex shops!”

Other people, Tony decided as Steve and he burst into laughter, ignoring the offended gasps around them at his shout, were really too uptight. As he looked across at the man trying desperately to stifle his chuckles inside his cup, Tony realized that he couldn’t envision having this conversation with anyone else.

Yeah, his dad really did have awesome taste in everything.


End file.
